My favorite quote of all. "We're all missing someone"
I gotta admit, i really miss him. It's almost been 2 months since we last talked. Well, actually the last time i talked to him was on Monday,6 days ago. But it was not really a proper convo. I sure does miss him a lot. Well Yusri, come back soon......
Well, i confessed to him that i miss talking to him. I didn't tell him that i miss him tho hahah because fuck, it sure does make me feel pathetic.
Here i am missing you and there you are probably don't. How pathetic is that?
I hope you are doing well hahaha. I miss you so much and that sucks because i can't do anything about it.
Sunday 25 May 2014
Saturday 24 May 2014
Nothing get better
Uhm hey. I guess i started back blogging. Since no one even bother to listen to me. hahaha.
I thought everything will get better. I guess not. Things isn't get any better at all. I thought my friends care but i guess they don't. I started back cutting and well.....it gets serious. I can't go on a day without cutting. But since Khairul took my penknife away, i'm 4 day clean. Pin doesn't work on me. It doesn't leave any scars. Maybe i should start doing something else that could take the pain away. Like jogging.
Last night, i told my friends i wanna kill myself because i trust them so much. I thought they would stop me, i thought they would give me a 1000 hours lecture, i thought they would prevent me to do so, but i guess i was wrong, as always. All they told me is "Can you don't think like that?" Well....... that hurts me more i guess. A guy friend of me told me to apologize to them. He told me i have hurt both of my friends. Well, i apologize anyway. I always do. I always say sorry, even though it's not my fault. But i always feel like it's my fault anyway.
But i'm worry. Everything get worse. It ruin my life so much, my studies and my relationship with people. But at the same time, i don't even care at all. Haha, i'm so complicated. No wonder everyone get tired of me.
It's scary how i depend on others for my happiness. It's like i can't even handle my own happiness. And scary to know that i'm in love with someone who has left me but yet i keep on crawling back to him and he probably don't even care.
I'm so tired. Tired of everything. How did i end up like this?
I thought everything will get better. I guess not. Things isn't get any better at all. I thought my friends care but i guess they don't. I started back cutting and well.....it gets serious. I can't go on a day without cutting. But since Khairul took my penknife away, i'm 4 day clean. Pin doesn't work on me. It doesn't leave any scars. Maybe i should start doing something else that could take the pain away. Like jogging.
Last night, i told my friends i wanna kill myself because i trust them so much. I thought they would stop me, i thought they would give me a 1000 hours lecture, i thought they would prevent me to do so, but i guess i was wrong, as always. All they told me is "Can you don't think like that?" Well....... that hurts me more i guess. A guy friend of me told me to apologize to them. He told me i have hurt both of my friends. Well, i apologize anyway. I always do. I always say sorry, even though it's not my fault. But i always feel like it's my fault anyway.
But i'm worry. Everything get worse. It ruin my life so much, my studies and my relationship with people. But at the same time, i don't even care at all. Haha, i'm so complicated. No wonder everyone get tired of me.
It's scary how i depend on others for my happiness. It's like i can't even handle my own happiness. And scary to know that i'm in love with someone who has left me but yet i keep on crawling back to him and he probably don't even care.
I'm so tired. Tired of everything. How did i end up like this?
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